Peeing, Pooping, Prescription Drugs, and Ramen Noodle Fires

By Paul Henry / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

Good morning John! It occurs to me that there are a lot of things that I haven’t haven’t told you about in my life. So, I want to make a video in which we catch up. Thing number 1 You may remember a while back that Katherine and I were fostering a greyhound in the hopes that we would get to keep her. However, when the people at the adoption agency came by to see how she was doing, and saw the way that she was looking at our cat (Which is apparently the way, that you know, I look at a quarter-pounder double-stacked with cheese from Wendy’s) They said that that particular dog would have to find a home that did not have little furry friends living in it which has already happened, and that wonderful dog has a wonderful home down the valley So Katherine and I had to wait for a bunch of time for a new shipment of retired racing greyhounds to come into Missoula, which they did and we adopted this lovely dog, who is extremely sweet. Her track name was Tina Fey, and we have named her Lemon. And she’s sleeping right next to me right now (high-pitched) There she is! She likes to be as close to us as possible Thing number 2 Retired racing greyhounds are really great dogs, and if you’re in the market for a new dog, you should check and see if there is an adoption agency that specializes in greyhounds nearby you because there are a lot of greyhounds that retire from tracks, and are not able to get adopted into homes Thing number 3 After Lemon poops, she just, she’s the happiest-it’s the happiest time of her day. Which makes me very nostalgic for the days in which I used to enjoy…pooping. But on a good note, I have been feeling much better lately, and have managed to get a new prescription for a new kind of drug, which is like half as much as the old one. The price of my drugs, went from $385 a month to $458 a month by the end of this year. One year! That is a huge increase. But now there’s this new drug which is like half the cost. Hopefully they won’t keep raising the price of that a hundred percent every year. Thing number 4 I really hate it when I’m watching a show on my computer on full screen, and then the show fades to black, and then suddenly I can see my reflection in the monitor, and I see that slack, dull face just staring at itself. I just want to snap out of it and go do something with my life, but then I know that I can’t, because you know, I’m in the middle of a show, Thing number 5 Katherine brought this up the other day and I just want to bring it the idea to light Why don’t we have waterbeds that double as aquariums? Thing number 6 One time, I left a pot of ramen noodles boiling, and then all the water boiled away, and then the ramen noodles caught on fire. Thing number 7 We might think that the Superbowl is a big deal here in America, but, hockey by percentages, is a much bigger deal in Canada, where around 80% of the population watched the final Olympic hockey game. Air Canada had to delay a flight because the passengers refused to get on board while the hockey game was still going on. And check out this graph of Edmonton’s water use during the Olympic hockey final. Tha-I-yeah, that’s a lot of people not peeing, and then having to pee. Thing number 8 The winners of the Harry Potter Alliance Helping Haiti Heal raffle have been announced! So if you participated in that raffle, you will have received an email saying that you won a thing if you won a thing. But the nerdfighter-related prizes were: A song by me about you was won by Samantha. Samantha, I’m gonna write a song about you. Signed copies of all of my cds was won by Samuel in Pennsylvania. The John Green 3 book package was won by Flower Child Headbands, which I’m sure is probably exactly what it sounds like. And a 1,000 word short story written by a New York Times bestselling author on the topic of your choosing, was won by Nancy from San Francisco. We will be contacting all of you soon. Congratulations, Helping Haiti Heal! 5 planes full of aid supplies are already on their way, You didn’t forget to be awesome, John, I will see you on Monday.

100 thoughts on “Peeing, Pooping, Prescription Drugs, and Ramen Noodle Fires

  1. My brother once did the ramen noodle fire thing with Hot Dogs. They looked like branches in a campfire and it filled the kitchen with smoke.

  2. I can up the boiled/burned top ramen.

    I was an apartment manager and one of our tennants let the water boil out of his pan that was boiling a deer head/antlers.

    I was spitting burned deer for days. Gross.

  3. I am Canadian and I didn't watch the final! Because I'm not a hockey nut!

    And now I must be ritually sacrificed to the Great One as repentance for my sin against the one true sport.

  4. when my brother was in college he put a cup of ramen noodles in the microwave and the Styrofoam melted away and caught on fire. Now that microwave smells like ramen noodles whenever you use it.

  5. I had a retired racing greyhound names Katy. BUT THE STUPID AGENCY TOOK HER WHEN SHE GOT OUT AFTER THE AC GUY IMPROPERLY LATCHED THE GATE!!! 🙁 I miss her

    or you will…….. DIE!!!!!

  7. I feel so bad for future Hank, when he will find out that there's like an 800% increase in the cost of his prescription

  8. So, ages old video and such, but when you say your prescriiption is four eighty-five, am I to believe that that's $485?


  9. Aww, it's so sad to see hank being sad about that increase when you know that soon there will be a 1200% increase.

  10. lol don't underestimate how much we like our hockey. When there was a gold medal game on at 4:00 in the morning (west coast)….we all got up to watch it even though it was sunday and we could have been sleeping. NOTHING is more important than hockey 😛 

  11. If you had a water bed with fish in it, you'd probably crush all the fish. That's why we don't have them.

  12. Eh, that's nothing. One time I was heating a pan to make scrambled eggs and let it get too hot. The instant I tried to grease the pan with butter, all the butter burst into huge blue flames. I couldn't help standing and admiring the beauty of the fire for several seconds before putting it out after I made sure there was nothing flammable nearby.

    Then there was the time I put too much macaroni into a pot that was way too small. When I started stirring, about a quarter of the macaroni fell out and into the burner underneath (we have a gas stove,) where it wasted no time in catching on fire.

  13. This makes me happy. To know that the dog's old name was Tina Fey, and now it's Lemon. As in Liz Lemon. From 30 Rock!! Yay Hank/The Katherine for their beautifully naming of the greyhound!! When he said Lemon after talking about her old name, Tina Fey, I literally paused the video and allowed the wave of realization and appreciation wash over me.

  14. When the time comes that I live in my own home and have enough money, I will buy multiple dogs, one of which will be a retires greyhound, because they are beautiful.

  15. I have wanted a retired greyhound for a long time. My husband doesn't. It will be several years until that dream comes true. 

  16. Four years late but: I live in Edmonton and remember having to drive home during that final because A: We won and B: I don't think I saw a single car during a 20 minute drive (in a city of ~1 million)

  17. Thing #5:
    You can't have a waterbed with fish because, air in the water cause algae to grow. You don't want air in the bed to cause sloshing. No air in the water would cause the fish to die. Also the chemical that you put in the water to prevent algae from growing would probably  kill the fish. Better mattresses have baffles and/or fibers to prevent free-flow movement that keep the bed from constantly moving when someone gets on or off. If you  have ever slept on a free-flow mattress, you will know it takes a while for it to shop moving when someone move in the bed. I have been sleeping on a waterbed since 1984. They are great!

  18. Hank, this is an old video, but would you consider sharing with us what meds you take for UC? I know that's very personal, but as a person living with UC for 13 years, I'm curious about how other people cope and stay healthy. ~Kelly. P.S. 100 mg azothioprine and 100mg Canasa per day. 2.5 years since my last flare! knock on wood

  19. Between Henry, Red Green, and now Lemon, many of the last set of videos have been about poop/pee, which is kind of funny and kind of sad at the same time.

  20. I know that was supposed to be semi-satirical, however, as an aquarist, I must point out that water beds that double as aquariums would be a pretty bad idea, I mean water changes would be impossible, and the fish would be getting jostled around constantly, and a filter, heater or air stone (which all species need at least one of to survive) would be impossible. ( And yes, I know that he didn't actually mean it and that all of that is kind of obvious)

  21. I feel ya hank, I have post-chemo neuropathy and one of the drugs that keeps me from going homicidal from the pain is 1100.00 a .month not year mind you but a month. Plus I have a metric butt-ton of other meds I take so yeah it's a major suckage.

  22. I'm watching this now and I feel very sad because of the cancer thing. (It was posted on Twitter earlier this month, February 2016)

  23. I have 2 greyhounds (both were rescued before they reached the racing track which is great) and they are the best dogs. So cute and funny, really lazy, quiet ( when they want to be) and yet both have completely opposite and entertaining personalities.
    In the past we have also fostered 5 ex racing dogs. Love seeing a 'celebrity' or at least a person with a huge impact who is helping racing greyhounds like my family. Feels really great! Love you lemon!!!

  24. Aww Lemon. nice to see you at the beginning of your life with the Greens. You've been a wonderful nerdfighter, who has never FTBA!

  25. I'm really not surprised about the hockey games in Canada. We were in Florida during the last Olympics and kept finding fellow Canadians just so we could find out the score of the hockey game. It really unites our country.

  26. during the game, my husband screamed "Come on Crosby!!! DO SOMETHING ALREADY!!!!"… within seconds, Crosby scored the winning goal. We sat in stunned silence then started screaming. Our entire block was screaming too. It was amazing.

  27. It's funny how he's all shocked about the 100% increase with his prescription and then a year later there was a 1200% increase

  28. I know all things are transient and all but man, checking the comments during this marathon of vlogbrothers and…(is the word really "spoiling"? that's awful) that Lemon has already passed was so sad. I'll enjoy whenever I get to see her.
    Give your pet a good dose of quality playtime for Ol' StimeTime, folks.

  29. I'm British so when Hank mentioned the drug prices I immediately thought "$3.85 to $4.58? why does Hank care so much about less than a dollar per month?" But then I realized I got the decimal place TWO digits out, because America

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